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tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  April 21, 2014 11:00pm-11:32pm PDT

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way to the top. - oh, man, i wouldn't mind hitting that. i bet she's got that hot puerto rican strange. - yeah, i bet she does. - yay! from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart! captioning sponsored by comedy central [ applause ] welcome! >> to "the daily show", my name is jon stewart. we a good show for you tonight. my guest the new epa administrator, gina mccarthy, i am going to ask about fracking. but first, while we were off we
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missed some high drama. >> apparently cliven bundy, more sophisticated mother, al, more athletic brother, king kong. >> cliven bundy has been grazing his cattle illegally in nevada about 20 years now, about $1 million in grazing fees, penalties and fees, fortunately he is ignored court orders of cease and desist. >> the federal bureau of land management came to take his cattle, it is your standard cow has, boy has cow for 20 years, boy loses cow stories, or so we thought. hundreds of armed militia men rally to support the bend difficults. >> heading them off at gunpoint. >> he joined the protesters, he and other militia men are not afraid to shoot if necessary.
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>> we were actually strategizing to put all the women up at the front, if they are going to start shooting it is going to be women that are going to be televised all across the world getting shot but these rogue federal officers. >> jon: anyway, happy valentine's day, sweety. >> he seems kind of -- apparently we have ourselves a standoff at wounded loin, yes. the armed standoff over this man illegally grazing his cattle is the subject of tonight's new segment, i don't get it. >> brought to you by -- huh? >> huh? it is a sound you make when you don't get it. >> look, i understand this is the west, everyone wants to romanticize it, last frontier of liberty, riding the rails on the open range, eating a tremendous amount of beans around the
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campfire, not caring about the normal social consequences of eating those beans because who is going to complain? the coyotes? not if they know what is good for them. >> babing! >> babing. >> that's the noise you make to scare them away. >> how is this guy bundy a hero how is this guy bundy a hero for ignoring federal law and what is the justification? >> i abide by all of nevada state laws, but i don't recognize the united states government as even existing. [laughter.] >> jon: i am as against government overreach as the next guy, but i don't think the federal government is overreaching by saying it exists. >> this guy -- heck, i am just a
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simple fellow, some folks call a car tiegs, rene descartes. >> and without immediate sensory proof, i won't take the united states government existence as prima facie existence. just all (bleep) in the jars. i have to pay you for grazing my imaginary brain jar cattle? who do you take me for? jon rock? patoo! patoo! >> right now, somewhere a junior philosophy major just (bleep)ed in his pants. >> all right. things, to prove the government exists did you look at the end of that. you see that thing you are holding there, fellow? if you ou reject the federal american government at least have the decency to create your own damned flag.
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>> i don't give the confederacy credit for much but at least they had a graphic design team worth a (bleep). >> so, so the court isn't on bundy's side or the government, even the nevada government isn't on his side, who is on his side? >> have you thought about why you think your case has resonate sod much with the american people? >> hannity! >> i still don't get it. >> it is not like they want to build a school, a road or a hospital. that land is going to stay vacant whether or not your cattle are on it or not, right? when your cattle graze there, that keeps the price of meat down for every american consumer. >> yes, it is cheaper when you steal the raw materials necessary for meat. >> in fact have you seen the prices at fell off the truck mart? so apparently sean hannity thinks laws are cart blank style. >> the ones you don't like
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won't, you don't have to abide. >> but the immigration healthcare law pundit, a mr. sean hannity. >> you believe we should obey the laws you want to obey. obey the laws you like? >> no, no. >> that's all? why don't you join with me, juan and say everybody should who bay the law, tell me how the president can unilaterally pick and choose which part of the law he will uphold at whatever time he chooses. >> jon: the guy is not even wearing a cowboy hat. >> apparently he selects cowboy hats which laws you will obey like a legal swording hat. >> by the way, that is the worst harry potter ever. >> or maybe sean just respects people who fight for their principles, even after they lose their case in court. >> a group of atheists lost their battle with the state of utah over 14 steel cross highway memorials, and the judge's ruling, you guys lost.
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>> that will be overturned. >> it is law. >> jon: ah. i guess unless your friends are armed and ready to have your womenfolk shot. [laughter.] >> jon: now, i know you don't like people scamming off the taxpayers, sean. >> my next guest is a california surfer, he lives on food stamps, i want you to realize you are taking other people's money and you are living a selfish life. >> jon: first of all -- [laughter.] >> jon: -- there is no way that (bleep) that guy's hair. did you see that? that is young hair but underneath those glasses is an old face. and otherwise hannity would be fine for hannity paying for his meals if he had other hair. >> also it would be cool to see a surfing cow. it seems like something about this bundy feller is blinding hannity to all the things that would normally drive hannity mad with rage this is it the hat because we can give him a different hat. and you know what? maybe a
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different hairstyle. and a new shirt. and a pair of devil sticks. >> oh, no, he is an occupy wall street protester. >> trespassing on land that doesn't belong to him, get 'em, sean! >> you are protester of the day and you go home at night and take a shower. >> take over a park and sleep on the street. >> jon: now that is the way you talk to a trespasser who votes differently than you. how out there is hannity on this issue? >> i have cattle. and i have people that graze on my land, grazing fees are normal, and you stopped paying them. there are some people that would say that you are, let me quote a welfare rancher. >> jon: sean hannity has now made glenn beck the voice of reason.
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[laughter.] [ applause ] >> jon: if you want, if you want to challenge the amount of federal land the government owns in the state of nevada, fine, make your case to the voters, if you want to challenge the concept of grazing fees, fine but hannity's puffery and armed friends don't make you a patriot. >> maybe i am a little bit like the founding fathers. >> jon: your welfare rancher is trying to pull off the largest cattle dine and --. largest cattle dine and --. nobody ever stomped their foot and asked for less. because what we all really want... more. there's a reason it's called an "all you can eat" buffet. and not a "have just a little buffet". that's the idea behind the more everything plan. it's more of everything you want, for less.
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because, c'mon. no one ever takes the second biggest cookie. get more with our best plans on the best network. for best results, use verizon. ♪ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ i'm ten feet tall that witnessed that thing he shouldn't have and got put in that program you're not supposed to know about?
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he gets to go away for a while to a place we can't talk about and eat velveeta shells & cheese. liquid gold. eat like that guy you know. liquid gold. because i went to kfc and got this delicious 10 piece meal. [sigh] love it. kfc chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, coleslaw, biscuits, and the kicker - free lemon cake. came with the meal. right there. seriously. [sigh] i have nothing to do except be me. tonight i am not mom. i am paula. so dad, what does that make you? dad. ♪ drivers, tgo!our marks. it's chaos out there. but the m-class sees in your blind spot... pulls you back into your lane... even brakes all by itself. it's almost like it couldn't crash... even if it tried.
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the 2014 m-class. see your authorized dealer for exceptional offers through mercedes-benz financial services. [ applause ] >> jon: thank you very much. you may recall last month when pro-russian maish i can'ts took over the crimean peninsula and handed it to russia, many thought the militias were not only pro-russian but russian. russian president vladimir putin knew different. >> those are local self defense units. >> jon: you have to take the man at his word. come on. look at that face. with that, would that face lie to you? don't answer that because that face would kill you
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with poison. actually, that face did lie to you. vladimir putin in the meantime spoke on russian tv for the first time he admitted the troops in unmarked uniforms who took crimea before its annexation by moscow were, in fact, russian soldiers. >> jon: april fools'. in february. ordinarily, i would let by gonzales be by gonzales but large parts of eastern ukraine are now filled with the mysterious militias, taking over government buildings and not only taking ukrainian tanks, they are doing things with them i didn't think you could do. i have to tell you, man, with all due respect to ukraine that is -- but at least now putin is more accustomed to telling the truth i am sure he will level as to russian involvement. >> this is nonsense. there are no russian units in
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the east of the ukraine. >> jon: well, his lips may know but the other guy that was talking says, look. he lies all the time, so you know what else? if we had some kind of photographic proof that the myish whereas in the ukraine are actually russian soldiers -- >> new photos provided to a european monitoring body and published by "the new york times" just today give some insight as to who has been seizing government zoo sites in eastern ukraine, these link the gunmen known as green men to russia. >> jon: really? that is your evidence? chunky guy with a beard? it looks like every other guy in eastern europe. that is every other guy on the planet. like two-thirds of zz top. come on. i think that is like the guy that produced the beastie boys first album. look i am starting to think russia hasn't invaded crimea but a documentary prank by joaquin
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phoenix. >> i am going to need more evidence these militia then are not just locals. >> the talked to locals in the town people at the barricades speak with russian accents and don't know their way around. >> jon: i guess they weren't doing doughnuts in the tanks, they were just so lost they were driving in circles. >> they said it was lawful. i don't know. i don't know where i am going. i am just -- i am just hungry. >> jon: now that we know these are russian it is question is, how should america deal with it and please frame your answer with the stupidest option we can take. >> we need to do some things tactically. we need to give them lethal weapons, give them 100 t-72 tanks from nato stocks. >> jon: we did that already and the russians took them and started doing doughnuts! in the parking lot of the russian 7-11 is there anyone in russia who can pin putin now.
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>> u.s. former u.s. spy contractor having his first known public conversation with vladimir putin. >> jon: oh (bleep). it is the snow man! oh, yeah! falcon and the snow man! if anybody can hold putin's feet to the fire it is this cat. >> does russia intercept store or analyze in any way the communications of millions of individuals? >> jon: oh! how is ott vladdy going to get out of, he is vladdy going to get out of this one. >> we don't have a system of interception. according to our law, it cannot exist. >> jon: touche. who would ever have thought putin could outwit a prerecorded question from a man whose life is in his
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>> jon: my guest tonight the administrator of the environmental protection agency, please welcome gina mccarthy! [ applause ] >> jon:. >> thank you. [ applause ]
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>> jon: welcome to the program. first of all as a bostonian, i say to you congratulations on a beautiful marathon today. beautifully done. very joyous, really lovely. >> thank you. boston proud. >> jon: yes. really well done. [ applause ] >> boston strong. >> jon: it was -- i was going to run in it, but then i remembered i am decrepit. >> i knew that before -- >> jon: you are very kind. how long have you been in the new position? >> oh, just about six, seven months. >> jon: and are we clean yet? the hair, the water? >> huge, huge movement forward since i started, yes. >> jon: tremendous? >> yes. >> jon: what is for you stepping in what is your priority? >> well, i share the president's priority of dealing with the issue of climate change, first and foremost. >> jon: now, see, that is the first part of that issue getting over half the congress to admit that it is happening?
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>> actually, we tried that first. >> jon: how did that go? >> not well, not well. not well. actually, the president, what is great even before i started the job he put out a climate action plan and what he said was the administration is going to take action, we are not waiting for climate. he started it as part of the leadership the president has to bring to the country and also is looking at i think what is a father of two beautiful children and he stood up and said it is a moral obligation. i agree with him. we have got to fight for the next generation. >> jon: but what would -- what would do it? you know, we have to fight for it. if you talked to the fossil fuel companies they would say, any type of restriction on what they do would lead us to an economic apocalypse if you talked to the scientists they say by not doing it we will have a climate apocalypse. i guess my question is, which apocalypse should i pray for? because i am choosing between
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two apocalypses. >> they have to look at the history. epa a has been around for 40 years and we learned a way to avoid apocalypses we clean up the air, 70 percent in our air pollution while we doubled the gdp, it can be done and with climate we have to move forward in a common sense way. take a look at what the president did in his light vehicle rule -- >> jon: oh, sitting looking and what the president -- it is whatever that thing is. >> fuel efficient cars. >> jon: that's what i am doing. i have what you call a nesting hummer. a hummer inside a hummer inside a hummer. >> sounds russian. >> jon: it is! it is! >> it might not be russian, though. >> jon: it's true. >> he doubled the fuel economy by 20-20 five, that lowered significantly greenhouse gas emissions from sources and at the same time you will get more fuel efficient cars and the car
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companies didn't die. >> jon: i don't think there is any question we are doing fine in the economy and all of these regulations put the mom and pop oil companies out of business. that didn't come out right. you know what i am talking about. you know, if you had your druthers, let's say you guys, you didn't have to convince half the congress this is real, what would you do? >> i don't think we would do have to convince them it is real. the scientists tell us it is real. what we are actually trying to do is take common sense steps in moving forward. one of the things we are doing in june is we are doing a carbon pollution standard for power plants. >> jon: right. >> the power plants are the biggest source of greenhouse gases. >> jon: are there no carbon pollution standards for them presently. >> no. there is not a standard on carbon with these power plants. and we think it is just as
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noxious as sulfur and we are going to go for it. >> jon: what is the differential? not because i am speaking for a friend, it is not like i burn things in my backyard. i am just curious, how much is there now and how much are we looking at? >> we are going to regulate it under the clean air act and it tells us we have to take steps forward to reduce it. we are going to take a look at what we need to do and we are going to make it flexible, you are going to get some significant greenhouse gas reduction out of it. really you can do that, it is safe, and communities have been reducing their greenhouse gas emissions for a long time. we are not talking about taking any fuel out of the system. >> jon: right. >> we are talking about making things more efficient. we are talking about investments in efficiency. we are talking about renewable energy and talking about a future that is actually looks pretty good. >> jon: but can't you make a more winning argument this is about efficiency and about creating energy in a better way because i think if you say to these companies we don't want to pollute with carbon they will
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say what about, what about china's economy? what about india's economy? what about these growing, you know, we got ours in the industrial revolution, what about these countries that are now building their middle classes and what about states like texas that don't listen? >> actually -- [laughter.] >> we are actually not talking about going backwards. we are talking about positioning the u.s. for the future, as well as those companies. they know they can invest in renewable energy and know they can make it work in an energy mix and so our job really is to try to drive those reductions nationally but to make sure every state is differently positioned. some have already done really aggressive energy efficient city work and we can do a whole lot more. >> jon: but how much is the might be, even with the boiler rules they had, they made a big deal about it would save 6,000 lives -- >> and by -- >> jon: i knew but i thought it was funny. and it is a thing i do, oh, look at me.
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save 6,600 lives they come up with a standard, what is it in february 2011 but they don't implement it until after the election, and posted an article this is political pressure, they say, i mean, how much of that is real? >> the timeline in the rule is set in statute. >> jon: i mean when it gets implemented. i know it is in the statute. >> that is what is in the statute is when it needs to be implement sod none of this is following politics. >> jon: i see. >> it is following, i hope and i think, what is best for america. and if we don't start dealing with climate change which is the biggest public health challenge that we face, as well as the biggest economic challenge we face, and think of it both from an environmental and an economic standpoint, then i think we will lose it for the next generation and our own, frankly. [ applause ] >> jon: i appreciate you being here and next year, you will run the marathon, yes? >> we will talk about that. >> jon: all right. well, thank you very much for being here, i appreciate it. gina mccarthy. we will be right back.
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[ applause ] >> jon: that's our show. here it is, your moment of look out! >> we have about 5,000 customers taking the trains each and every day, safety as you know is paramount. captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by med >> tonight troubling rumors about hillary clinton. i heard she slept way former president. then how request churches attract new members. get ready for log flume baptism. and my guest acclaimed document arian ken burns has a new film about the getties getties-- gettysburg address, i gave it four score out of five. oscar mayer is regarding 96,000 pounds of hot dogs for containing cheese. oh, a hot dog made with an identifiable food? gross. this is "the colbert report."


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